He has never lost a sock.
He has been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into the room.
His organ donation card, also lists his beard.
He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
When it’s raining, it is because he is sad.
Even his parents’ advice is insightful.
If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men’s entire lower intestines.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.
He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn’t admit it.
You can see his charisma from space.
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.
When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs…where there is no turning back.
If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
His blood smells like cologne.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
His pillow talk is years ahead of its time.
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
If he disagrees with you, it is because you're wrong
Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact.
If he were to give you directions, you’d never get lost and you’d arrive at least 5 minutes early.
He never says anything tastes like chicken, even chicken.
Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.
He tells the alarm clock when it’s time to wake up.
When he goes to sleep, sheep count him.
He doesn't use oven timers, he tells the food when it’s done.
He was once found guilty, of being innocent.
When he wakes up the roses smell him.
His bear hugs are actually hugs he gives to bears.
You cannot buy him, but occasionally trimmings from his beard come up in auctions.
He once had an awkward moment... just to see how it feels
He lives his life vicariously through himself.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe
He once taught his German Sheppard how to bark in Spanish.
His personality is so magnetic; he is unable to carry credit cards
His charm is so contagious; vaccines have been created for it
Years ago he built a city out of blocks today over 600,000 people live and work there.
He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test
Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear
His legend precedes him, the way lightening precedes thunder
People hang on his every word, even the prepositions
He could disarm you with his looks or his hands…either way
He can speak French, in Russian
On Careers= Find out what it is in life that you don’t do well and then don’t do that thing
On life=It’s never too early to start beefing up your obituary
On Self defense= The right look should suffice
On Pick up lines= There’s a time and place for them, the time is never, you can figure out the place on your own.
On those nuts (mixed nuts) =See those nuts, they’re there to make us thirsty, while I don’t like being coerced in this case I shall make an exception.
On Packages=Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies, if I can count the coins in your pocket; better use them to call a tailor.
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Largest list compiled?
